Japanese cinema is usually over the top. Their chief export is apparently the energy harvested from Goku’s Kamehameha, with spiky hair being a close second. No matter how accustomed you are to their lack of subtlety, you’ll be thrown off guard by Tokyo Gore Police. We’re beyond the realm of Godzilla, now. We just entered the land of chainsaw fights and rocket launchers that shoot fists. Yes, fists. With extended middle fingers.
The film starts, and we’re treated to some all too bright and happy images of flowers, and playing children. We’re then introduced to a friendly police officer. You can tell that he’s friendly because he’s waving and smiling. Mean people don’t wave and smile. They’re too busy raping small animals. Not this guy, though. He’s pretty much the definition of role model. Now I want to be a police man when I grow up.
And then, his head explodes. It just fucking explodes.
What the hell was that for? That guy seemed nice, and he spontaneously died in the opening credits. You’re making me sad, over-the-top Japanese cinema. You’re making me cry.
General rule of thumb with this flick: If something makes you feel warm and fuzzy, it’s going to die in a horrendously violent manner.
The “plot,” if you really want to call it that, revolves around people known as engineers and a woman named Ruka. Essentially, engineers are mutated humans that, when injured, will regenerate whatever body part they may have lost. Usually, with the addition of chainsaws, cannons, or some other appropriately dangerous weapon. Needless to say, these things are bad, and our fearless heroine, Ruka, is tasked with killing them. Because they can regenerate from any injury, they have to be completely dismantled until the only thing left is a bloody mass of liquefied human. This process usually involves Ruka being a total badass.
The guy that directed this is fairly well known for being "The Tom Savini of Japan." In case you don’t know (and you probably don't), Tom Savini did the special effects for George Romero’s zombie flicks. He’s highly regarded as the king of gore. The director of Gore Police may not be as great on a technical level, but he’s far more inventive. Far more out there. He’s the guy behind some other hits in the Japanese-splatter genre. Stuff like The Machine Girl, and Samurai Princess. Gore Police is the first time he directed, though. For a first try, it’s surprising. The guy knows how to move a camera. How to tell a story. It may not be on the same level of, well, real movies. But the fact that he created something immensely fun to watch on his first try says something. Unlike other movies that he only provided the special effects for,Gore Police is enjoyable beyond the blood. It has a certain wit, like the satirical commercial for designer wrist cutters, or the blonde-haired announcer that commentates on Ruka’s merciless slaughter of the engineers. It’s really, really cool.
Here’s a quick rundown on some of the stuff you’ll find within, if for some reason you decide you want to venture over to Netflix Instant Streaming and start this bad boy up: Drilling a guy’s arm open. Using two chainsaws to, almost gracefully, tear someone limb from limb. A man with an exposed brain, and two gun barrels instead of eyes. A chair made out of human flesh that pisses on an excited, and apparently pleased, audience. A nippleless hooker that bites off a guy’s “appendage,” the leftover stub of which proceeds to mutate into some weird, fleshy cannon thing.
Unfortunately, blood and gore can only satisfy about 95.7% of you barbarians. For the other 4.3%, there's not much here. If you're willing to disregard the lack-luster storyline and simply have a fun ride, Tokyo Gore Police is probably what you're looking for.
Final score: 8 pissing chairs out of 10.
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